Expressing emotions is supposed to be a good thing but if you tend to hold everything in, being emotionally vulnerable can be scary.
Those who don’t have a problem with expressing themselves will tell you how empowering it is to say what’s in your heart but you just can’t get yourself to do it.
If you think you can get through life without opening up to others, you couldn’t be more wrong.
Humans are social animals, we’re built to communicate and learn from each other. Where we fall short, others may excel and the only way to become better people is to engage with others and let others help you guide in the right direction.
Choosing not to express emotions is a subconscious way to protect yourself. When you open up to others, you’re welcoming feedback, judgment, critique and sometimes you’ll have to hear things you don’t want to be told.
Don’t keep quiet
The moment you find yourself holding things in when you’re upset or angry, don’t say quiet, say something!
You should get a response from those around you and they may ask you to elaborate.
The building up of negative feelings can actually make you ill by raising cortisol levels in the body and causing inflammation so look after your physical and mental heal and SPEAK!
Never lie about how feel
If you’re unhappy or uncomfortable with a situation then don’t lie about it. It’ll give others the impression that you’re fine when you really aren’t.
You can’t blame them for thinking things are alright when they are not.
Explore your emotions
Sometimes we keep our emotions to ourselves because we don’t know ourselves exactly how we feel about certain things.
When you don’t have an understanding of what’s going on in your head, how will you explain it others.
It’s normal, it happens. Emotions are complex; they are affected by many things and sometimes you don’t have a clear answer to why you’re feeling a particular way.
Don’t get overwhelmed by them; spend some time reflecting and breaking them down.
Unravel the various aspects of your emotional state before you attempt to share them with others.
Convert your anger into words
It’s understandable that you want to hold back intense feelings of anger but you shouldn’t. Anger has a way of releasing itself in all the wrong ways and if you’re one of those rare individuals who can hold it in – it’s not good for you.
Anger causes you to say and think things that aren’t true so wait for yourself to calm down and then express your frustration in a productive manner.
Think of what you actually want to say, how the other person may react to what you’re saying and the outcome you want.
If you’re still struggling to express yourself, work with a psychotherapist who can help you work through unresolved issues that are forcing you to remain bottled up.
David Myers is an experienced psychotherapist, psychodynamic therapist and relationship counselor based in Birmingham, Alabama. Call (205) 251-8808 or email firstname.lastname@example.org to book an appointment with Myers.