People never really understand the challenges that come with parenting until they have kids of their own.
All parents want to raise well-disciplined, empathetic kids that grow up to become responsible individuals but the common misconceptions regarding parenting end up doing more harm than good.
If you learn to talk to your kids the right way, not only will your kids be more disciplined but your job as a parent will become much easier.
Check out these common mistakes parents make when talking to kids:
Giving Warnings
If you’re guilty of giving your child multiple warnings then you’re making a mistake. Children ignore parents who are constantly nagging them. The first few warnings you give them will go through one ear and come out the other because they know that more warnings are coming.
For example, when your child takes their time getting ready for school in the morning, instead of giving them warnings about how they’ll be late, teach them to take responsibility.
Quit telling them that they’ll be late and bring their attention to what will happen if they don’t make it to school on time. Tell them that they will have to explain it to their teacher themselves. If you hold them responsible for their actions, they will learn to make better decisions.
Comparing Kids To Others
Comparing your kids to others is one of the major mistakes parents make. In their formative years, a child’s sees themselves through their parents’ eyes. They also have a tendency to internalize comments made by those around them.
Some parents are under the impression that comparing your children to others motivates their kids to change their ways – it doesn’t. It actually crushes their self-esteem. By comparing your kids to others, you’re making your child feel inferior. Over time, they will end up believing that they aren’t as smart and capable as others.
Instead of drawing attention to their shortcomings, focus on how they can improve. Again, it helps to treat them like adults.
Don’t talk down to them, choose to talk with them.
Not Listening
Want your kids to listen to you? That’s not going to happen if you don’t listen to them. The best way to discipline kids is to teach them by example.
The next time your kids are babbling about something, stop and listen to them. It may not look like it at the time but you’re subliminally teaching them the value of empathy and respect – all traits that your kids should learn.
Learn more about establishing a positive relationship with your child with David Myers’ book, Heartful Parenting. The book is filled with useful insights on raising children and building a healthy connection with them from a very young age.
The tips and techniques provided in the book will improve the quality of time you spend with your child. You’ll find that conflicts are easier to resolve and that you’re relationship will serve as a model for your child when they become parents themselves.
David Myers is a psychodynamic therapy in Birmingham AL. He provides psychotherapy, psychodynamic therapy and relationship counseling. Call (205) 251-8808 to book an appointment with Myers.