David E. Myers, Ph.D.
1. The Golden Rule is truly Golden.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is a way to live that allows you the possibility of real connection to others. This allows you to be more constructive than destructive on your journey through life. So, when you are feeling intensely, take a breath, literally.
2. Our sense of Spirituality is a path of accessing our Love in a profoundly different way.
There is way more to us than just thinking, feeling, and behaving. There is no doubt in my mind that Higher states of consciousness can unite us in ways like no other. Of course, there are many ways to access Spirituality; it requires some real intuition, effort, and intention.
3. This guidance rule can change your life. I found it on a refrigerator door many years ago:
“What is, is
What ain’t, ain’t
The only way through it, is through it. And it takes as long as it takes.”
First, ask yourself how you do not live this way. Second, ask yourself how you could live this way.
4.Explore where you do and don’t set boundaries.
To really say yes, your have to be able to say no. And “no” may hurt someone else’s feelings. Feelings are there to guide us, so that hurt feelings can instruct in many constructive ways. The expression of feelings needs to be constructive, not destructive.
5. Dr Richard Felder gave me this quote:
“We are all crazy, most of us only know it in our sleep.”
First of all, we are pushed by both conscious and unconscious energies. Second, “crazy” is a multifaceted word. Third, dreaming is an essential way of knowing ourselves at a deeper level. Fourth, introspection is essential for a higher way of being aware of our inner selves.
Crazy can often just be the experience of being overwhelmed with emotions we don’t know how to experience.
6. Bullying must be discouraged at all levels.
Reciprocity suggests that we work together to achieve goals, and in so doing, create a different experience. I realize that some bullies are very difficult. So, by modeling the Golden Rule, you can create goals in a way that bullying can not. The new Pope Leo may serve to be a great model for the outcomes of communicating and reciprocating.
7. The teaching of using feelings in a constructive way for children is essential to theirs and our mental health.
Feelings are like a thermometer in a way: they tell us things. How we listen and how we react will determine if the outcome was either constructive or destructive. Of course, destructive is to be discouraged.
8. Marriage needs to be collaborative, trusting, and communicative.
Who we fall in love with is influenced by our childhoods, as demonstrated so well by Dr. Harville Hendrix with his Imago therapy. Hence, marriage can either be constructive, healing, or destructive. Feelings of intimacy must be true feelings of connection. That experience is self-reinforcing. So, the above is necessary for the mental health of our children. The desire for sexuality is like everything else, in the sense of being either constructive or destructive.
9. Anger and Fear are emotions to be used constructively.
No, they are not “bad” feelings.
10. For a detailed elaboration of my thinking please see my book “Heartful Parenting: Connected Parenting & Emotional Intelligence”
This was a wonderful way of talking out my thoughts regarding a great many parenting issues, to include life issues. I used my speaking voice to talk to the reader.
Relational Counseling & Therapy services in Birmingham, AL with David E. Myers, Ph.D.
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David Myers, Ph.D. provides relational counseling and therapy services in the Birmingham area, including psychotherapy, relationship counseling, help with anxiety, help with depression, and psychodynamic therapy. Contact David today for more information.