A positive relationship with your kids serves as a foundation for your relationship in the future. If your kids don’t feel comfortable approaching you with their problems when they’re younger, they’ll likely become more distant as they grow old.
Don’t assume that your children are content with your relationship. They don’t have the ability to express themselves properly and need the adults in their lives to show them the ropes or get help from Birmingham Therapy.
David Myers has spent years studying the significance of being an emotionally attentive parent. In his book Heartful Parenting, Myers recommends the following tips to build strong bonds with your kids:
Practice Constructive Interaction
When a child misbehaves, parents have the tendency to resort to destructive interactions. These can be vindictive and damaging to your child’s self esteem. Shouting at your child or being aggressive with them may silence them at the moment but it fills them with feelings of resentment towards you.
Children don’t have the capacity to make sound decisions all the time; they are bound to make mistakes every now and then. However, responding to their mistakes aggressively does them more harm than good in the long-run.
Myers believes that constructive interaction allows your child to see the connection between their behavior and its natural consequences. It demonstrates loving guidance and concern for them. When you practice constructive interactions, it’s easier for them to see that you’re directing them to the right path.
Balance the Needs for Dependency and Independence
Children rely on parents physically and psychologically but it’s wrong for them to be overly dependent. An integral part of the process of development is to help them learn to do things on their own.
Parents should let kids make their own decisions when they can but at the same time, they need to let them know that if things go wrong, they can count on you for support.
Once kids have the reassurance that their parents are there to guide them, they are more willing to venture into new activities, says Myers.
Model a person who is Emotionally Balanced
According to Myers, an emotionally balanced person is one that keeps their feelings in perspective and expresses them in ways that aren’t destructive. It requires deep understanding of intense emotions along with awareness on how to manage them.
Even though acknowledging your emotions may not change reality, it is crucial to express them. Constantly bottling up emotions leads to chronic stress, depression and anxiety.
The primary role-models for kids are always their parents. If children don’t see their parents expressing themselves in a healthy manner, they too will be overwhelmed by emotions.
It’s important for kids to see their parents speak constructively about their feelings says Myers.
Be a Model of a Person who Feels Confident and Secure
Your child needs to see you as a confident and secure human being. According to Myers, being confident and secure refers to individuals who are trust their abilities but are also aware of their shortcomings. Along the course of their lives, these individuals self-reflect and focus on bettering themselves.
Kids need to see that their parents aren’t perfect. Just like them, they too make mistakes but they are taking steps to get better and overcome their deficiencies.
When your kids realize this, they’re more inclined to come to you when they need help or guidance regarding something they’re going through.
For more advice on parenting and strengthening your bond with your children, check out Myers’ book Heartful Parenting. It’s filled with tips and suggestions that can help earn your children’s trust so you can share a relationship they will cherish forever.
David Myers is a psychologist in Gardendale. He provides services such as psychotherapy, psychodynamic therapy and relationship counseling birmingham al to residents of Birmingham, Vestavia Hills, Mt Brook and other nearby communities.
Call (205) 251-8808 or email info@davidemyersphd.com to book an appointment.