If you find yourself jumping from one relationship into the other without taking the time to work on yourself, you could be emotionally dependent.
While humans are social animals and do look for support in others, the inability to be by yourself is a serious problem. Emotionally sound adults are those that are self-aware of their emotional needs and do what they can to find happiness within theirselves instead of looking for it in a relationship. Being able to enjoy your own company is a necessity and if you don’t master it, you tend to be taken advantage of by others with ill-intentions.
Are you emotionally dependent?
Emotional dependency is defined as the continuous reliance on others (usually a romantic partner) for happiness. Individuals who are emotionally dependent are deeply affected by the thoughts and views of their partners. It doesn’t become much of a problem until the partner is failing at fulfilling your emotional needs – then it takes a toll on your self-esteem and can lead you down a path of self-doubt and depression.
How do you overcome emotional dependency?
Emotional dependency is a multifaceted issue. There are many reasons as to why someone looks to others for validation.
Here’s are some steps you can take to help you:
- Identify the root cause:In most cases, the underlying issue is poor self-esteem. When someone suffers from low self-esteem they rely on others to bring them up through praises, compliments, etc. Have a moment with yourself and figure out what it is that you really want from your partner and why.
- Learn to be with yourself:Go out and sit alone in the park, try having a meal by yourself or watch a movie alone. Be comfortable in your own company.
- Deal with your inner-voice:Most of us have a critical inner-voice that needs to be dealt with. Counter the inner-toxicity by reminding yourself of your strengths and make an effort to see the good around you.
- Confront your partner:Sometimes partners aren’t even aware of you feel but if you find your relationship isn’t any good for you, leave. It’s not worth your time when it’s not benefiting you in anyway.
- Get professional help:There are people who stay in abusive relationships because they are so emotionally dependent on their partners. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re sense of self is continuously declining, seek professional help as soon as possible.
David Myers is a psychotherapist based in Birmingham, Alabama who has been treating people with mental issues such as depression and anxiety (both of which are part of emotional dependency) for many years. If you are someone who constantly looks for happiness in others and suffers from low self-esteem, you can benefit from psychotherapy with David.
Call (205) 251-8808 or send an email at info@davidmyersphd.com to book an appointment.